Some stories move along at a rapid clip. Usually, this is because the author is using active rather than passive voice. Active voice moves the action along, while passive voice slows it down.
Using Active Voice in Writing
Active voice is simple and direct. It also provides more clarity than passive voice. In a sentence construction, active voice puts the active agent first, followed by the verb or action, then the object of the action. An example of a sentence in active voice is:
The dog chased the car.
“Dog” is the active agent, “chased” is the verb or action, and “car” is the object of the action.
Active voice is clearer, gets to the point quicker, and is less wordy than passive voice.
Passive Voice Reverses Order
Passive voice reverses the order of the sentence by putting the object first, then the verb, then the perpetrator of the action. The sentence the dog chased the car would read like this in passive voice.
The car was chased by the dog.
Passive voice creates a sense of distance, which slows the action down.
Sometimes that distance is needed or desired, such as when the object is more important than the subject, or when the subject is unknown. For example, Supplies were delivered to the hospital at 5:AM. The sentence could read A UPS driver delivered supplies to the hospital at 5:AM. But who was responsible for delivering the supplies is not near as important as the fact that the supplies arrived, so this sentence works better in passive voice.
Sometimes passive voice is used to create atmosphere by delaying the action or showing layers of meaning. Many traditional classics contain quite a bit of passive voice. Modern readers often find them slow reading because they are used to a more active construction. For the most part, unless an author is purposefully trying to slow action down to create a mood or atmosphere in a specific passage, the majority of a manuscript should be written in active, not passive, voice. Otherwise, lost in ambiguity and wordiness, a writer is apt to lose his or her audience.
Making Writing Passages More Effective by Changing Passive to Active Voice
Though passive voice has its uses, constructing more active sentences whenever possible makes a manuscript come alive.
To change from passive to active voice, put the one doing the action in front of the verb. An indicator that a passage is in passive voice is the verb “to be” and its forms am, is, are, was and were. Try leaving them out to make a more active sentence. For example, below is a passage in passive voice, then in active. Note how much longer the passive passage is than the active one.
The house was robbed by a gang of thieves. The police were the first to respond. An investigation was made by the cops. Clues were gathered by a forensic team. The thieves were caught by a clever detective.
A gang of thieves robbed the house. Police responded. The cops investigated. The forensic team gathered clues. A clever detective caught the thieves.
Tips for Identifying Passive Sentences:
Look for a subject followed by one of the “to be” verbs: is, are, was, were, has, have, had, be, been , being, am. If it is followed by a descriptive word or a noun that means the same as the subject, the sentence is passive. Example: She is pretty.
However, merely finding a "to be" verb does not mean the sentence is in passive voice. When these verbs are linked with an active verb and followed by a direct object the sentence is in active voice. Example: She has written many reviews.
To read more about active and passive voice, check these sources:
Johnson, Edward D. The Handbook of Good English. New York , NY: Facts on File, 1982.
ISBN 0871961415
Sorenson, Sharon. Webster’s New World Student Writing Handbook. New York, NY: Prentice Hall, 1992.
0139519556
Readers may also find these writing tips beneficial:The Three Points of View in Writing, Writing in First Person, and Do You Need a Plot Outline?
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